Day Sixty Six: Site news, and what the hell happened to last weekend. I mean seriously what the fuck.

So, damn. That was a good couple of days.

I was still awake Thursday morning, having spent the preceding 24 hours solidly writing up two essays for politics and animation. Finally met up with James on campus at around twelve, and spent about an hour getting them both printed off and handed in. I also laughed at Karine and Scott, who had also both been up all night, but in the library. Scott was particularly amusing as his essay was about half the length of everyone else's, and Karine as she'd been in the same damn spot of the library for about three days in a row, or something completely fucking retarded like that.

A smart, rational person would have then left campus, filled with joy in his heart, and gone back to bed. My friends, you know me. I am not that guy. I went to the bar with James, and we drank beers. Several beers. I had Matt, who I believe talked to you Thursday, arriving, so I made him come to the bar, and have a beer. Then, bidding farewell to Nicki, Damien and Callum, who had arrived at the bar at some point, I went back with Matt. And there we continued drinking even more. Two crates of Budweiser gone before we left the house again. I was taking Matt to the Christmas LCR.

I think Kate, James, Emily and Camden were with me here as well. It's a bit blurry. I remember arriving at the LCR, and having to exchange tickets for a wristband which was our magic pass to everything that was there, the bumper cars, the spinning whirligig thing, and the LCR, which featured the magic of the one and only Vengaboys. Truly an exceptional evening. I drank an awful lot of Vodka Red Bull, I was rude to an exceptional number of people, I co-ordinated attacks against people on the bumper cars and I rode the whirligig thing so much that I nearly threw up. Somehow, me and Matt were able to walk home to sleep for a couple of hours.

Friday was my birthday, and I had Mike coming up. Or down rather, from his Uni and then catching a lift with us home. So, we head to the greasy spoon, get baconed up, and then wander to town to meet Nicki Callum and Damien for beer & burger at Spoons. It was magnificent, but it hurt. So much meat. Post-crippling burger, we grabbed Mike from the station, then went to Sainsburys to buy a shitload of beer. And some fake red bull. And vodka.

So, house party time, and Me, Matt and Mike have cleared off a case of beer before anyone else has arrived. At some point we played N64. My memory isn't entirely clear, but I'm pretty sure I kicked everyone's asses. later on, we were playing King's cup, and while I don't remember playing a whole much, I do remember being forced to down a dirty pint that was half filled with Thom's mulled wine. After that it all gets really fuzzy. I remember kicking a cat at some point. It was probably being a cunt. I'm pretty sure at some point I jumped up and down on Matt's car, because he won't stop reminding me about that. Then, towards the end, Callum, Mike and Matt came back with my birthday gifts, which consisted of a cone, a massive roadsign, and an advertisement for double glazing or some shit on a massive wooden stake. This was totally fucking awesome. As that evening wore down, I think I passed out, because I don't remember going to sleep watching Wayne's World, although I am assured that we did.

Saturday morning was not good. We woke up early, again. And we ate a shitload of bacon, again. It took me far too long to get packed up, and I'm sure I've forgotten several important things as well. When we finally set off we stopped by the co-op to get juice, and Mike found a half-drunk mug of Jack Daniels and coke in the glove box. I have no words to describe this.

We finally made it home after a deeply painful journey. I had considered updating my blog that evening, but I was so unspeakable tired that I ended up going to bed ludicrously early. Then, on Sunday, my aunt, uncle, cousins and grandparents all came round and were stubbornly nice to me, no matter how much I insisted that I was still the same horrible person. Then, to close out the evening, I got drunk with my cousins, my sister, and Mike, who had come round for reasons that I cannot recall at this time.

So, it's Monday evening, and I should be getting right back into my normal schedule of blogging every day, right? Well, no actually. See, I'm taking a break for the holidays. It's for a number of reasons, involving my home's shitty internet access and the fact that I need to use the family computer to type online, but the main point is that I don't want to be one of those guys who are blogging about their families and whatnot. I've been that guy. He's even less fun than the one I am at the moment. So, from now, consider The Useless Ambition on hiatus. I think over 1000 words should be enough to tide you over for a bit. I may post sporadically over the holiday season, but updates will officially resume when I return to university in early January, and I have actual things to talk about. Until then, good people, it's been real. A special shout-out to all those people who I saw over the last weekend period, including all Thursday and Friday, and everyone who wished me a happy birthday on Facebook. You are all especially lovely. I'll see you in the new year, when The Useless Ambition will be back, with even more daily aimless rambling and drunken chats about TV and movies. I'll talk to you all soon.

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Now playing: What the fuck, my computer doesn't even have this? Fuck this shit.

Day Sixty Five: Matt on deck!

Well...So here we are! I have travelled today for Hutton to Norwich in order to celebrate young Anderson's 21st...So far it has been highly enjoyable. I think it may just be the amount of beers consumed (18 bottles) or the fact it has been too long since our last outing!
What random shite should I write about???
It's a possibility that the one true reason I am here is to keep Jimmy in a non-stop drunken state...but its ok...it works for both of us!!!
Who are you anyway???
What are you talking about???
I don't even know anymore!
Maybe I should just stick to drinking beers and staying away from normal people!
Who is Clive?
This seems to be what happens when I am let loose on a computer...
I guess all there really is to say is that tonight i must drink to forget feelings!
Tomorrow...i must drink to forget feeling and celebrate a joyous day!!
Saturday....I shall live again!

How is it possible to write a blog everyday? And why would you want to?
Now to ramble!
Don't ya just hate it when you can't find a bottle opener...I KNOW I DO!!!
There is just so much to do....and so little time.....
I definitely do not feel drunk enough to write a good blog...so I should come back to it later!
A final piece of advice for you all!...don't get attached to anything!

She puts the lotion on her skin...or she gets the hose again!

FUCK YOU BUDDY!

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Now playing: Electric Six / Gay Bar

Day Sixty Four: A matter of urgent importance

This right here pretty much sums up why I could never live in America. I can visit, sure, and I'll always have a great love for the country I was born in. But holy fuck, an article in The Wall Street Journal dealing with the "controversy" that Obama uses a Zune instead of an iPod?

Yeah, fuck that shit.

And the fact that someone in the Obama camp had to release a statement to placate the rabid Apple fanboys who were presumably calling for blood over this hateful deceit is maybe the worst thing of all. Although, on second thoughts, Apple fanboys are maybe the most frighteningly devoted people in the world, worse than the Firefly fanboys, worse than the Coke vs Pepsi lot, even worse than the insane Harry/Hermione shippers. It's a worrying state of affairs.

So, I'm actually writing this from the past, because I won't be posting this until Wednesday morning at some point. That's right, my procrastination has reached the point where I am updating my blog purely to put off doing work. What a terrible situation to be in. At least I haven't started updating 4 times a day though. That'd just be sad.

So, hopefully at this crazy time when this will be up, I'll have written more than 500 words and actually be close to finishing. I can probably edit that in later. It's a weird situation this.

Anyway, onwards to work!

Edit: Yeah, not so much with the finishing of the essay. Still, it's Wednesday morning, I've got over half my essay done, and it's not due in until 3pm on Thursday. This might be some kind of record for me.
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Now playing: The Charlatans / The Only One I Know

Day Sixty Three: SPECIAL EARLY MORNING EDITION

Firstly, holy fucking shit yes! Man, this Christmas, TV is going to rock. We've got new Doctor Who, new Wallace & Gromit, and now new Shooting Stars. I'm not moving from the front of my telly this year.

Secondly, have I mentioned before how essay writing really sucks? It's even worse when you've just finished one, because you're suddenly confronted by this expanse of blank page, and you've got to somehow find a way to fill it.

Writers may talk about the joy of writing and how they look on blank paper as a challenge. Fuck that. Writing is hard.You've got to....um....fill up space.


With words.


Which can be tricky.


But still, it's always good to have something to motivate you. In my case, it's the promise of a shit load of beer and excessive partying at the end of this week. Hopefully starting Wednesday, I'll have my essays finished, so it's pub that evening. Then, on Thursday, I'll be drinking myself into a coma with one of my best buddies from home as the Vengaboys play at the LCR. I can't promise that I won't throw VKs at them. My instincts may just take over. And then on Friday, I'm having a wicked awesome house party with another one of my best mates from home, along with a load of other lovely people, and there's going to be 4-player N64, and 2 player wireless Frets on Fire, and so, so much beer that I will likely manage to collapse and pass out before we even reach midnight.

Just, y'know, gotta get past that whole writers block thing.

Fuck you essay.

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Now playing: The Lonely Island / Jizz In My Pants

Day Sixty Two: Oh right, videos don't count as posts.

So, I've "finished" one of my essays now, with a mere 4500 words to write by Wednesday. I've got the sneaking suspicion that I might overrun that slightly. I will almost certainly fall asleep in the Christmas screening as well, because if I haven't finished my essay by then, I'll certainly have stayed up all night before working on it just to try to do so anyway.

Anyway, I've been spending an inordinate amount of time on youtube (because otherwise I'd have to actually concentrate, and I think anyone who's ever had an essay to do will agree on my sentiment of 'FUCK THAT SHIT'.) and getting generally freaked out at bizarre tribute videos. Some people have too much spare time. After all, I'm only watching weird tribute videos. These people have to sit down and edit them together. It's weird.

Also, I didn't really discuss this at length yesterday because I wanted to sleep quite badly, but HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS AWESOME.


I've been following the Lonely Island dudes since The 'Bu, and the fact that they've joined SNL was some of the best news I'd ever heard, as I though Saturday Night Live was finally gong to start being funny again. You know, a return to the glory days, when they had actual good comedians and genuinely inspired writing and sketches. Essentially, I want Dan Ackroyd and Bill Murray back on the show. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened, but the dudes are still as awesome as ever.

Also, I still can't get over the way that Timberlake dances and mouths 'Jizz' at the camera. Cracks me up every time.

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Now playing: Cat Stevens / Wild World

I need to go to bed

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4

Also, holy shit, that was the Timberlake!

Day Sixty One: Hmm.

I've had a number of people nag me to check out Vitamin String Quartet now, so I've been doing that this evening. I've got to say, it was time well spent. (Youtube them, they are awesome.)

Vitamin String Quartet is the collective name for a group of tribute albums which reinterpret alternative rock by playing it in a string quartet. It's fucking awesome. I always really enjoyed it when rock took on classical music, so to have it come from the other direction was pretty damn cool.

That said, I cannot find any decent torrents for them. I know, to recognise work I like I should actually buy it, but I'm far too poor to be doing that at the moment. Christmas presents, on the other hand, would seem to be quite well sorted.

Also, I thought I'd put up an advance warning now for next week. Not only do I have two major essay deadlines for the 11th, but I also have to deal with the stress of turning 21 on the 12th, as well as having two of my best mates come up here to party with me. Needless to say, it's going to be a sleepless, drunken, and generally fuzzy couple of days. So, don't be surprised if my entries for next week are even less coherent that usual. It's probably due to the cocktail of substances that will be sustaining me through the next week.

See you on the other side!

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Now playing: Sweet Diss and the Comebacks / Dunder and Dwightning

Day Sixty: There may be trouble ahead...

So, this is kind of weird. James was good enough to talk about it already however, so go to his place.

Anyway, me and him have decided that we're going to get our shit organised for this final week of term. We both have two essays due for Thursday 11th, which is happily the day before my birthday, and the same day that my actual birthday celebrations begin. So, the pact was that we'd both get our essays done by Wednesday morning, in time for our special animation Christmas screening, where we'll be watching the Nightmare Before Christmas. Which, y'know, is pretty fucking awesome.

However, this means we need to get our shit together on a massive scale. I mean, this is working to get a pair of essays finished by Tuesday night or, let's be honest, early Wednesday morning. That's a grand total of 7500 words written over the course of the next five days. And it's not to say that we can't do that, given that we've both managed some pretty impressive feats in terms of essay writing over the two years, including a caffeine-filled sleepless night which eventually resulted in one of the better things I've written. It wasn't the essay, but it was still good.

However, this still requires intense dedication and hard work on both our parts. This is the third year now. We're being serious now.

And that's why I spent my evening watching I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, and cheering on George Takei. Because I'm retarded.

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Now playing: Eels / Souljacker, Part I

Day Fifty Nine: Oh hey, that looks interesting...

You know what the worst thing about Wikipedia is?

(There are a great many things, actually. The fact that anyone can edit it, the lack of citation for much of it, the insanely anal habits of the administrators, the schizophrenic nature of their relationship with pop culture and the bizarre ways in which they format templates, seemingly arbitrarily. Anyway.)

The worst thing is that you can jump onto the Wiki to look at, say, Samuel L. Jackson, and after about half an hour's worth of facinated clicking, end up on the page for Scots Law.

(Here's how it went: From Samuel L. Jackson to Snakes on a Plane, to Ronny Yu, to Hong Kong, to English Language, to The United Kingdom, to Scotland and then to Scots Law.)

This is an arbitrary example, because no matter what I intend to look up when I'm there, I immediatly get distracted. It's why, for example, if I get drawn into discussions about politics or world events I bring up weird pieces of information that I should have no business knowing, like having intimate detailed knowlege about The Act of Union, or being able to describe how crystallization works. These revelations often make people think I'm a massive dork/nerd, which, admittedly, is true, but honestly, I don't ever go online with the intention of finding out just what exactly Poynings' Law is, I'm just easily distracted.

Well, now you know why I know random and useless information. I was probably just looking up Iron Man 2 and I just got distracted again.

(Oh shit there's Sam Jackson again I am lost.)

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Now playing: Eric Clapton / Tears In Heaven

Day Fifty Eight: Holy fuck, Vampires and shit! Part 2

So, yesterday we discussed the gay and terrible Vampires from Twilight. Well, today, we'll be talking about the much more awesome kind of vampire as found in True Blood.

Now, just as a completely random aside, I've been burned by HBO before. They created Rome, one of the most asskicking and fucking awesome shows ever, with some of the best historical drama combined with some hardcore swearing and violence and absolutely brutal violence. Unfortunately, they decided to cancel it after the second season, rather than letting it play out it's original five season plan. And that really sucked.

Plus, HBO were responsible for both Sex and the City, and, of course, Sex and the City: The Movie, so it's understandable why I'd fear new things by them. I have the irrational fear that anything I see by them will either get cancelled, or turn out to be the most estrogen filled thing since the ovary.

However, True Blood has so far managed to avoid either by being completely fucking awesome. We've got boobs aplenty, swearing and violence and whatnot, and the main character manages to both be female and not a horrifying Mary Sue unlike a certain other franchise I could name.

Admittedly, I'm only three episodes in, but what I've seen so far is giving me extreme confidence, especially given the sheer amount of awesome that we've had so far.

Plus, Heroes has kind of been making me depressed by how crappy it's becoming, so this will fill a nice gap in the meantime.

Anyway.

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Now playing: Chris Isaac / Wicked Game

Day Fifty Seven: Holy fuck, Vampires and shit!

I first heard about Twilight this summer. My sister and cousin were reading these books which I surmised were about Vampires and stuff. However, that wasn't as important as Edward. Apparently he's the sort of main character in this series of books, and the writing is mainly centred around how dreamy he is. I didn't really care at the time, to be honest. I was more concerned with getting drunk than about the latest fad that was going on.

Okay, it took me a while to get over Harry Potter, and I wasn't ready to move on, okay?

Admittedly, I did try to read the first one (there's four of these fucking things? Holy shit that's insane.) but I stopped after about a chapter because it sounded like a bad FanFiction.net offering. Plus, I had Lord of the Rings to read. Priorities, man.

So, it's only recently that I've been hearing more about this film. It looks fucking awful. Dawson's Creek meets Vampires, and not even in a good way. Also, it's only since it became more widespread that I started hearing more about the characters and rules in this world.

When the Vampires are exposed to sunlight, they sparkle. They fucking sparkle? What the fuck is that? That's the most fucking retarded thing I've ever heard. Seriously? That's fucking terrible.

I mean, Jesus.

The only thing that actually makes me happy at the moment is the way that Robert Pattinson clearly had no idea what the hell he signed up for. Now I picture him trying to think of ways to get out of the sequel contract by, I don't know, getting really fat or growing a hobo-beard or something because, holy crap, the fanbase for this franchise is insane.

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Now playing: The Strokes / Heart In A Cage