Liveblogging a Drinking Challenge

So, at 2am GMT, Obama is doing the state of the union address. I wouldn't ordinarily care, at all, but this year, in collaboration with a bunch of folks from the forum I frequent, I'm going to play the State of the Union Address Drinking Game. The rules are right here. The game, and the speech is expected to last an hour. In the entirely likely event of my death, this post will also serve as my last will and testament.

2:00am: State of the Union is meant to begin. Beer One is open and being drunk.

2:05am: Beer One is starting to get a bit low, but the president is here!

2:06am: Oh shit guys, this could hurt.

2:14am: Nancy Pelosi does not have a face. That is some kind of solid mask.

2:15am: HOPE and CHANGE are going to be big killers.

2:20am: Joe Biden and Pelosi are wearing PURPLE TIES. This is a sign of UNITY because it combines RED and BLUE. SYMBOLISM.

2:22am: TAXES TAXES TAXES TAXES HGBLUGBLUG

2:24am: Oh man, standing ovations are up to five.

2:27am: SMALL BUSINESSES. WALL STREET. BLARGH.

2:30am: Obama is all like "Health Care? Fuck you Republicans, I'm just gonna pass it, and you can just deal."

2:32am: Standing ovations count: seven.

2:35am: "Hey, all banks. FUCK YOU. GIVE US MONEY"

2:38am: Bipartisan policies, yo.

2:40am: Standing ovations count: eleven.

2:41am: PANAMA! PANAMAHAHAHAAAAAA! VAN HALEN RULES

2:44am: Barack just broke out the comedy. Hell Yes.

2:46am: Big shout-out to Michelle Obama. Barack clapped his own point for the first time 'cos he knows he's getting laid.

2:48am: Standing ovations is around seventeen Eighteen.

2:50am: McCain looks like hell. Daaamn.

2:52am: Fiscal Responsibility. This is important. There are plenty of numbers being thrown around here.

2:55am: Barack just totally laid into the senate. 'Fuck you guys, I'll just do it myself.'

2:57am: Now he's dissing the Supreme Court. Obama is THE MAN.

3.01am: Barack just cracked a joke and no-one laughed. Fantastic.

3:06am: Standing ovation from everyone except the Joint Chiefs, because Barack Obama just committed to pull out of Afghanistan, or somewhere like that.

3:14am: Barack is a GOOD DAMN COP, BUT HE DOES'T PLAY BY THE RULES, DAMMIT.

3:16am: Story Time! A little kid sent Obama his allowance money and told him to give it to Haiti. D'AWWWWW.

3:21am: We've just finished the speech. I'm pretty trashed. There are many beer cans here. And now I think we have the Republican response. I'm gonna pass out soon.

3:27am: VIRGINIA governor Bob McDonell is providing the response. IN VIRGINIAS CAPITAL. My contact in the USA informs me that his sons are 'hot'.

3:32am: Man, this guy just cannot match Obama. He just got a standing ovation, but I don't think it was a good one.

3:35am: Yep, decided I don't care about the repub response. Gonna post this and bail.

WOO OBAMA