Right, blogging at work.

Man, there's a whole new level of dork that I'm discovering within myself here. I mean, I'm working in IT, and now I'm updating my blog on the internet while I should be working.

Clearly, I have made some bad decisions in my life.

So, anyway, it's the international day of drinking Guinness and saying something like 'Well, my Great-Grandfather was like, a quarter Irish, so that makes today a national holiday for me' and then drinking ten million pints of green beer and throwing up on someone. This always seemed like a curious holiday to be celebrating in the UK, given that we really don't need the excuse to go to the pub and drink heavily. We already have a whole range of excuses, like "Footy is on telly, let's go to the pub and watch it" or "It is [unwilling friend]'s birthday, let's drag him to the pub and force booze down his throat" or even the popular "Today is pub day. Let's do it."

The only appreciable difference that I expect to face tonight it shamrock decorations, silly hats and a more difficult time in getting to the bar.

Oh, that, and I actually won't have spent all day drinking, which is a first in about four years I think. Instead, I'm running from lunch beers, and then a few quick tins in the late hours of work and on the train up to the pub this evening. It promises to be an okay night. Hopefully I won't have to murder anyone.

Day Ninety Three: Distractions

So yeah, rough couple of nights with not much sleep, drinking too much and just generally feeling like hell. But, at the end of all of that, I find myself sitting here, only two pieces of work before the end of university (One essay and an exam! Holy shit!) and nothing much to do for a few weeks until I enter my various panicky states regarding those particular things.

This now means I'm finding things to occupy my time, because unlike Kate, I can actually enjoy my free time spent doing nothing. (I'm not kidding, the woman has a whole day off for the first time in ages and by the time the afternoon rolled around she was moaning that she was bored. Honestly. You're doing nothing. Enjoy it.) I've started with the Empire: Total War Demo, which actually worried me for a bit until I read this thread on the total war community forums, which went a tremendous way to relieving me. That, and fiddling with the game files to reduce the loading times of around half an hour to a more reasonable 30 seconds. Which was nice.

Obviously, I've still been kicking various kinds of ass around on Left 4 Dead, and it's still one of the best online gaming experiences I've had, like, ever. Had an awesome moment yesterday when I was on a team that was absolutely dominating the other on versus. The other guys all decided to quit just before the finale, leaving this poor guy by himself against all four of us. So, after swearing profusely, he teamkilled all his computer friends, typed "FUCK THOSE FAGS IM DOING IT MYSELF" and charged straight for the roof to take on all of us. And, credit where credit's due, the man killed two hunters singlehandedly. Unfortunaly, I was the third, and my tackle was so placed that it actually sent both of us over the edge of the roof, crashing all the way to the bottom of the tower. It was fucking badass.

----------------
Now playing: Peter Gabriel - Down To Earth

Day Ninety Two: Oscaaaaaaaaaaaars

So, firstly, I had a fucking awesome time in Sheffield. I'll heartily recommend their union to anyone (Seriously it is called the Octogon, OMGEE that is the coolest thing EVAR), and Carols flatmates and friends were all very lovely to me and Mike while we were up there. Plus Caroline made us epic Bacon sandwiches in the morning, and it was fucking glorious.

Secondly, yeah, I got my essay done. It hurt a bit, but I got it done. And that's all I want to say about that.

Finally, Oscars. Now, I'm only going to be doing the Oscars that people actually care about, because while its very nice and awesome to recognise the sound designers and cinematographers, no-one besides me and all the other film dorks around the world have any idea who they are (even then, it's a bit of a struggle. I actually probably can't name any cinematographers of the top of my head. BUT AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT THEY DO DAMMIT.) So, the awards that people know about then.

BEST ACTOR
This one went to Sean Penn, who was the only likely one besides Mickey Rourke. And while Rourke had that ol' comeback edge, given that he's cleaned his shit up and started making movies again, he still looks like he could beat up most of the academy. And I think the voters are afraid of that. Plus, he still got a nod from Penn. In fact, Penn's speech was kinda awesome, given that he used the phrase "You Commie, homo-loving, sons a guns".
Also, that in a very polite and classy way, he called out everyone who voted 'yes' on Prop 8, because they voted bad and should feel bad for it.

BEST ACTRESS
Kate Winslet finally got he fucking statue, after being nominated approximately eleven billion times, and she really does deserve it. Probably not for The Reader though, which is mostly just Kate having sex for the first forty minutes and then wanders off into "Hey, the Holocaust actually kinda sucked, didn't it?" I mean, honestly, it could have just been the first part and I'd still be happy enough with the choice. Winslet naked on camera is always good.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
In maybe the least surprising move ever, this went to Heath Ledger, which was very nice of the Academy to do after they passed him over for best actor back in the 2006 Oscars. Plus, it turns out Ledger's sister is pretty hot. (Wait, is that bad? Do you think it might be inappropriate to comment on someones hotness when they're recieving an Oscar for their dead brother? Hmm.)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
This one went to Penelope Cruz, who I honestly don't think made much of an impact. Although I may just be saying this because I find Amy Adams absolutely adorable and kind of want to marry her. So, obviously she should win on those merits alone.

BEST PICTURE
Slumdog Millionaire was probably the most deserving one here, given that neither Iron Man nor The Dark Knight were nominated. (My contest would have been close, but ultimately we swing in favour of Iron Man given that Robert Downey Jr. is just a bit more awesome than Christian Bale.)

BEST DIRECTOR
And this went to Danny Boyle, who again really deserves the nod, given that the man can direct absolutely anything he wants to. The only other possibility was Fincher, given that David Fucking Fincher is extremely Fucking awesome, but Benjamin Button probably should take the nod for Cinematography instead, because the direction really wasn't all that. (OH YEAH THATS RIGHT)

Day Ninety: INCREDIBAD, PT2

So, continuing on from yesterdays review of Incredibad, the début album from the Lonely Island dudes, here is the second half of the album.

Like a Boss

This is a fucking great song. The same escalation as Boombox, but taken even further. Samberg absolutely tears this up, and it rocks.

We Like Sportz

A sequel to Just 2 Guyz? Man, I was sold already, but this track warrants it by it's sheer rock and roll power. Also, "Like that CUNT HOLE Steve" is actual poetry.

Dreamgirl (feat. Norah Jones)

This is a song about true love and Chex Mix. If you aren't down with that, then you have no soul/ And Norah Jones is pretty awesome on this as well. Getting her to sing that Chex Mix has 60% less fat than potato chips is exactly the reason why I'm so happy that these dudes have broken through.

Ras Trent

I love this track simply because it brought back two phrases that I hadn't heard in ages, and it made me laugh and laugh. ('Batty-Boy' and 'Boomboclat', if you were wondering)

Dick in a Box (feat. Justin Timberlake)

The fact that Timberlake not only did this song, but actually went all the way out with the video as well means that I've got enormous respect for the dude. (Man, seriously, they censor the word 'dick', but not 'bastard' in America. What the fuck is that about?) And man, this is one of the most romantic songs I've ever heard.

The Old Saloon (Interlude)

This manages to hit almost every Wild West cliché ever, and Jorma screaming "DJ Uhgnghgn!" is maybe one of the best things ever.

Punch You in the Jeans

Just a straight up awesome rap from the dudes, and I've started using "I'm gonna punch you in the jeans" far too much in everyday conversation.

Space Olympics

This starts off slow, but builds and builds into something incredible. Just the right kind of soaring epic thing that you'd expect from something that involves "Space Luge". Also, whenever the album properly touches down back home, I've gotta check out the video for this, as apparently I need to be in America to see the awesome.

Natalie's Rap (feat. Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell)

As with Timberlake, this gives me enormous respect for Portman for taking this concept and just completely running with it. Samberg is the only one of the dudes who really features on the track, which I think is fair enough, given that, well, Portman is fucking awesome here. Although, it wouldn't complte without the great line: "my dick is scared of you, girl"

Incredibad

An awesome track to close the album on, with aliens, sex, and video games. The lyrics are so detailed here too, I'm still picking out little in-jokes and references that are buried in there. Plus, we finally learn the true story of how The Dudes came to be, and it's fantastic.


So, while I might be slightly biased here, and at the risk of sounding slightly hyperbolic, I think that this might be mankind's highest achievement in the history of time. You should buy it, and then buy three copies to spread around too.

----------------
Now playing: The Lonely Island / Incredibad

Day Eighty Nine: INCREDIBAD, PT1

So, the debut album from The Lonely Island dudes came out a couple days ago, and I've been listening it to it near continuously since then. I mean, I've mentioned before about how cool it is to see these dudes make it big, especially after seeing them start out from something like this. Anyway, now I've listened the absolute crap out of this album, I thought I'd go through and review that shit. So, here we go:

Who Said We're Wack

Great opening track, and it's actually getting better each time I listen to it. An awesome opener, and if you like it, you'll love the rest of the album.

Santana DVX (feat. E-40)

First mention of the Santana DVX, and also the first guest contributor on the album. My favourite bit is when the dudes introduced it to someone, and the massive distorted OOHHH SHIIIIIT

Jizz in My Pants

Fantastic bit of comedy, which I've had for a while before the album came out, and it's pure quality. Also, I just thought I'd mention that flicking through the music channels last night, this actually came on and completely weirded out the two people I was with, while I giggled like an insane bastard.

I'm on a Boat (feat. T-Pain)

Massive props to T-Pain for being so willing to take the piss out of his own music. And man, everything about this track just speaks to this. Second mention of the Santana as well. Kiv absolutley fucking rocks on this song as well. Also, "FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER" is beautiful.

Sax Man (feat. Jack Black)

This is pretty much just a Tenacious D track in the middle of the album, and that's no bad thing. Musically, I think it's pretty awesome. Just gotta love that Bass. Also, the quiet way that Black says "what the fuck are you doing?" is great.

Lazy Sunday (feat. Chris Parnell)

When this first did it's massive rounds all over the net the first time it was out I didn't really care for it that much. I mean, I thought it was pretty good, but nothing particuarly amazing. But man, it's grown on me so much. "GONNA GET TAKEN TO A DREAMWORLD OF MAGIC"

Normal Guy (Interlude)

This is one of those little random sketches that the dudes used to do back in the day, and it's pretty great. Third mention of Santana here as well, which made me giggle endlessly. Jorma is great in this.

Boombox (feat. Julian Casablancas)

Maybe my favourite track on the album at the moment, although that might change. Just the contant escalation of the track, and the repeated mentions of 'BOILED GOOOOOSE' make it fantastic. Plus, it's got the lead singer from The Strokes. And I fucking love The Strokes.

Shrooms (Interlude)

Another sketch one on here, and it's only 30 seconds long, but it's a great little piece of absolutely random techno.

And, well, this post is getting too long, so I'm going to continue this tomorrow.

----------------
Now playing: The Lonely Island / Shrooms (Interlude)

Day Eighty Eight: OMGZZ THE FILM WUZ BETR THAN THE MOVIEE

My only comment on Valentine's Day: Steak is great, and beer is great. Steak fried in beer though? That right there is fucking awesome.

Okay, so remember the other day when I was talking about movie trilogies and the fact that the third one always seems to suck? Well, I'm pretty sure that Lord of the Rings is the exception. This might have something to do with the production process, which is always something that's staggered me. I'll quote from The Editing Room, which I believe illustrates this perfectly:

PETER JACKSON is meeting with various NEW LINE EXECUTIVES.

PETER JACKSON: ..and that’s my proposal. What do you say?

EXECUTIVE #1: Wait, so, you want three hundred million dollars to create nine total hours of film for an adaptation of the Lord of the Rings trilogy?

PETER JACKSON: Nearly twelve hours for the full editions.

EXECUTIVE #2: And you want us to greenlight this based on your previous work of…
(consulting a memo)
A movie about rat monkeys and flesh eating zombies and an unfunny comedy ghost movie starring Michael J. Fox?

PETER JACKSON: Right. And I want all the money up front, because I demand that I be able to make all three films at the same time.

The executives stare at JACKSON as if he just took a shit on their rug and autographed it. Miraculously, he is allowed to adapt the trilogy and ACTUALLY FUCKING PULLS IT OFF.

I mean, it's just unbelievable. An absolute nobody from New Zealand who's directed nothing of significance and has never made a big film in his life is given a shitload of money and almost complete creative control? This almost never happens in Hollywood, and what's more amazing is the fact that it actually worked. The amount of money generated by the franchise is unbelievable.

This is exactly the sort of example you point to when people say that producers do nothing. Producers are the people who approve this sort of deal, and it's their asses that it falls on if the film isn't a success. After all, that money has got to come from somewhere.

Although, four fucking hours for the third film? That might be just a little bit indulgent, given that the last hour is made up entirely of endings.

----------------
Now playing: The Lonely Island / Incredibad

Day Eighty Six: In defense of Back to the Future: Part III

Firstly, if you're one of those soulless people who doesn't enjoy, nay, love the Back to the Future movies, then it's probably best that you stop reading now. Honestly, we're going to get deeply nerdy about all three of the films, and if you're not a fan, then you'd best move on. There's nothing for you here.

So, the third film in the trilogy. It always gets a lot of stick, which I think is sort of endemic of these big film trilogies. There's always a solid opening film, an awesome second film, and then the third just tends to be a bit shit. It's true for the Godfather trilogy, it's true for Jurrassic Park, and it's certainly true for Star Wars.

(THERE WERE ONLY EVER THREE STAR WARS FILMS YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY WHORE MOUTH)

But yeah. We look at the Back to the Future trilogy, and obviously the first one kicks ass, and the second improves on it in every single possible way. It's pretty much a textbook example of how to do an awesome sequel, in that it actually relives moments from the original film, and makes them funnier. That's pretty hard to do, given that the original rocks the house, but it manages it so, so well. And that, I think, is why the third gets a lot of stick. It simply can't be as awesome as the film that preceded it, which, I think, is actually impossible.

Still, I think the third one rocks, because, well, COWBOYS. And also resolving the plotline, giving the Doc a romantic companion, and of course blowing a freaking train up and then making another train into a flying timeship. There are many reasons why it rocks, but mainly it's because without it we wouldn't have these. And man, that's totally worth it.

----------------
Now playing: The Lonely Island / Punch You in the Jeans

Day Eighty Four: In which I apologise for my lapse in updates.

So, yeah, the last time I updated was Wednesday the 4th. Not exactly great for my weekly updating thing. Anyway, I'm sorry and all that. I got into kind of a funk over Thursday and Friday, but had my spirits lifted by a most excellent weekend. I don't want to go into too many details, but lets just say that both Beer and Back to the Future figured heavily in it. It was good.

So, Saturday was already panning out to be pretty awesome, with a sixties themed retro night on at the LCR. But then, me and James went up to Chris' place to do a bit of Rock Band 2 and heavy drinking beforehand, and the night got just a little bit more special. We finally got to the LCR after I'd done some serious vocal rocking (Fuck yeah, I sang Duran Duran and it was beautiful) and James had played the drums to his normal level of competence as he does with every other Guitar Hero or Rock Band related game, and man, it was pretty darn awesome. The sixties music was in full swing, and man, I had some serious moves that night. It was a very good evening.

Sunday rolls round, and I'm reminded by Lauren that we're doing our Back to the Future marathon that evening, something that I think we first talked about waaay back in the first year when we met in the launderette at 4am. Yes, it's taken us that long to get round to it. We are organised people.

And yeah, Back to the Future still continues to rock my socks every time I watch it, but Part II will probably always be the best, and it remains a textbook example of how to properly do a sequel, along with Empire Strikes Back and Aliens. With Part III, yes, there is a slight drop in quality, but it's still a better third film than, let's say, Return of the Jedi thanks to the magical powers of COWBOYS. Because, well, fuck yeah cowboys. Also, exploding trains.

Oh shit, I nearly forgot, despite Heroes sucking, well, really hard this season, I'm okay with it. Because Battlestar Galactica is absolutely rocking my world at the moment, and totally makes up for it. Just as a completely random example, here's a sample of last weeks episode.

If you see that, and don't think it's the best, then fair enough. But if you see that in context and don't think it's the greatest thing ever, then you are, indeed, dead to me.

Also, just when I thought Doctor McNinja couldn't get any more awesome, turns out they hired Nedroid as their new colourist. In other awesome related news, The Lonely Island's debut album comes out today. Let me assure you, it is ball-flatteningly fantastic.

----------------
Now playing: Weezer / Pork and Beans

Day Eighty Three: Linky Linklater.

Firstly, an apology for James' incomprehensible gibbering yesterday. I don't even know what the hell that was, but it does offer a chilling reminder as to why I should never leave James unsupervised with my computer. Not only did he leave a collection of even more aimless ramblings than I normally do, but he also decided to download gay pornography onto my computer. Because he's a lovely human being.

Secondly, fuck all headlines like this. Everyone pissing and moaning about the snow just serves to remind me that here in Norwich we got the slightest dusting of snow which then melted overnight, whereas back home in Essex, Matt is playing in half a foot of the stuff. Although, I must admit, watching some of the BBC's responses to the bad weather is pretty amusing.

Also, I recently got sent this link which shows that 55 remakes of Hollywood movies are in the works at the moment. I mean, I don't really mind remakes just on principle, but Jesus. Every single film on this just makes my brain ache with rage. Obviously, movies only really exist just to make a profit, let's have no illusions on that count. But damn, do they really have to be so fucking blatant? It's bad.

And finally, the hype machine is starting to warm up for Watchmen. We've got wicked cool trailers, and some fucking fantastic little videos on the Youtube as well. But man, the thing I'm geeking out about most of all is The New Frontiersman's website. All of this alternate history is right there, and the article on Woodward and Bernstein's murder causes me to get impressively erect. I'm very, very excited for this.

----------------
Now playing: Smashing Pumpkins / The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning

Day Eighty One: NEEEEEEERD!

Okay, so I might be moving even further past the dork horizon. I mean, I'm already pretty far gone, in that when people ask me if I've seen the latest ubuntu release, I don't respond that "I'm not that into Pokemon"

After all, I built my own computer! (Well, stood around and made knowing comments while Matt wired together my motherboard) That aside, I know what the hell I'm doing in there now. I can replace most major components in a PC without technical assistance, and I'm mostly competent in terms of software as well, or at least the software that 85% of people use. I can find my way around windows with the best of them. Having to start with Windows ME was probably a big help in that respect.

But man, I think I'm starting to cross the geek line into full-blown nerd.


-I had a five minute, completely un-ironic conversation about the flash memory into RAM function on Windows, and how it was totally awesome.

-I also ordered a headset. It's a full-blown nerd purchase, done only so I can better yell at Polish dudes who I'm playing Left 4 Dead with. It's extremely fucking dorky.

-Finally, I found this collection of videos, which is mainly edited together clips of The Next Generation, and it is, of course, hilarious, as only repeated footage of Data being headbutted by a Klingon can be, but the worrying thing is that I could identify which episodes the clips were from.

It's just too much. I'm going to need to go watch some football, or something like that. Just, damn.

----------------
Now playing: Glen Campbell / Wichita Lineman

Day Seventy Six: BLEH MUST POST NOW

So I've been dicking around with all the import notes settings on Facebook, and I think the entire thing is just completely borked. There's no real way for me to import blog entries as notes without it cutting off at some arbitrary point, unless I feel like doing it manually each time I update. And man, that is another level of just sheer, I cannot be arsed to do that.

Also, it would detract from my much valued "playing Left 4 Dead" time. Because holy shit I cannot get enough of this game. Steam has this funky little ranking system where it adds up all the games and the time you spend playing them, and then gives you a rating from 1-10 depending on how many hours you've spent in-game.

Now normally, my rating would hover around a 1 or 2 ('El Terrible' and 'Nearly Lifeless' respectively), and then maybe jump up to about a 4 ('Master of Nothing') whenever a new episode of Half Life came out or while I was playing Portal nonstop for that magical month when it was first released.

Left 4 Dead has elevated my to the high echelons of 7 ('Wax on, Wax off'). This is a bit rediculpus now. It's my third year at uni, I should really be doing reading, or writing coursework, or something. Not killing zombies.

Although, hey, looking at the rest of the ratings, it looks like Valve are continuing the Karate Kid theme. The next level is 'COBRA KAI!' I think I might have to earn that just on principle. Back to the grind I guess.

Also, I cannot get this tune out of my head so I will have to listen to it on an infinite loop until my brain explodes. Thank you and goodnight.

----------------
Now playing: The Asteroids Galaxy Tour / Around The Bend

Day Seventy Two: Some things happened today.

I am going to list them in reverse order, because that's just how I roll. And also I'm planning on getting all gay and political at the end, so I'd rather save that. So.

I saw Twilight today with Kate and Emily. I'd been wary about seeing this because it looked, to put it bluntly, fucking terrifyingly bad. And man, I was not disappointed. This is a new triumph in awful cinema. I mean, there were parts, mainly involving the father, that stood out as great, not least because they were actually intentionally funny. But then, when there's a ten minute scene with Vampire Fucking Baseball, then I started to waver. I'll admit that the film was partially saved by the beers that I snuck in. And there was also that one scene where a girl commented that a dress made her boobs look fantastic, and I could do nothing but completely agree with her. Personally, the most hilarious thing is watching Robert Pattison doing interviews. He looks totally scared and confused by the entire thing. Also, download .flv player or whatever you have to do to watch that clip. It's worth it to hear Pattison call the character that he plays (one of the two protagonists) a complete moron.

I also saw Frost/Nixon today, and it was pretty cool and interesting. A film like this is kind of tricky to recommend to people, given that it's targeting a very specific audience, especially within this country. It is worth seeing at some point, however, just because the dude who plays Nixon is pretty fantastic at what he does. Also good was noticing that Michael Sheen has to work really hard to avoid turning into Tony Blair throughout. Plus, Sam Rockwell! I love that dude!

And then, the big thing that happened today. At the inauguration today, the announcer dude totally flubbed his line! Man what a dick. I bet he wanted to die there and then. Massive worldwide audience, 2 million hearing him speak live, and he stutters while introducing a senator. I hope he doesn't go home and feel bad.

But yeah, woo Obama!

Although I do notice that chocolate money has not been falling from the sky and I have not yet been given my flying car, as expressly laid out within his campaign promises.

Man, that Obama guy is a dick.

Although thank God George Bush Jr. is no longer president. I mean, seriously? That guy? What happened there, huh America? Sounds like you got some explaining to do.

----------------
Now playing: The Animals / House Of The Rising Sun

Day Sixty Nine: HUR SIXTY NINE LOL

Man, I was different kinds of drunk last night. And I've no idea what that rambling about Spaced being my desktop background was.

Though I do have clear memories of trying to minimise it and being unable to, and my desktop icons being in the way of Simon Peggs face. So I don't know.

Anyway, I'm getting quite excited because this weekend sees the relaunch of pretty much all of the shows that I watch in the States. Not only is The Office back, but we've also got the final block of the Battlestar Galactica season four coming too.

(Have I talked before about Galactica? It's awesome. Robots, nukes, and most of humanity getting wiped out in the opening episode. Plus the Presidents wife from Independence Day as the actual president, which is pretty cool. It's sort of like what I always wanted Star Trek to be, but unfortunately Trek either never had the budget for wicked cool explosions every week or the main cast managed to be boring and lame. We never got both at the same time. But Galactica rocks. Bears beat Battlestar Galactica however. FACT. And now close brackets)

Scrubs has returned as well, with a block of four episodes in the space of about three days, and it's looking surprisingly good so far thanks to a distinct lack of the network rapage and the fact that because the budget has been cut they have to focus on actually writing the episode well and avoiding JD's trips into fantasy land. Seriously, it was reaching Family Guy levels by the end of the last season, which is just terrible. But I'm liking this new season so far.

And, of course, we've got Heroes coming back as well, which is both a good and bad thing, as it's maybe one of the worst shows on, and yet something keeps dragging me back to it. Maybe it's because I really love Masi Oka. Or because we've got Spock in it. (Although, he's been killed off, right? Which probably means he'll be back as the surprise big bad for the finale.)

Anyway, thanks to this, you can expect even more incomprehensible rambling about TV that you havn't watched in the future.

Yaaay.

Day Sixty Seven: I'm back!

...a day later than I promised, but after having about 50 million drunken conversations about Christmas and New Year which were essentially that "yeah, mine was pretty okay. Yours? Okay, yeah? Okay then." I figured that no-one really wants to read me trying to stretch out Christmas and New Years over 250 words. I mean, it was pretty good, yeah, but not particularly exciting.

With two exceptions.

The first was a major New Years Eve party. I'd spent the last year caretaking my sisters New Years Eve party, which consisted of Matt and me drinking two cases of beer, confiscating some booze that we liked the look of and booting one kid out because we knew his older brother and thought he was a wanker. Or it was the actual older brother. I don't know, it was over a year ago and I was pretty drunk.

So, I'd resolved with Matt that we were going to get totally drunk and messed up, and not hang around fifteen year-olds. Not ones that I was related to, anyway. After preparing a horrifying and illegal quantity of booze, and drinking half a bottle of Jack Daniels, we travelled to a house party of my mates, where people were sitting around, talking quietly and playing video games. AND NOT DRINKING.

Obviously we both felt that this was unacceptable, so we drank half our bottle of vodka in around ten minutes before corralling everyone in the room to play drinking games with us and stop playing Mario and Sonic go to the Olympic Games. It worked, because the rest of that evening is a blurry mess of embarrassing conversations, swearing, amusing hats and far, far too much further drinking. I definitly remember the cannabis laced vodka that was brought out later on, however, as I'm pretty sure that was the thing that gave me a hangover for two days afterwards. Oh, and sending a text to half my phonebook which reads: "New years day? More like new years gay." at four in the fucking morning. If you didn't get one, it's probably because I hate you. Or love you, insofar as your opinion on drunken early morning texts goes.

The second was a night out just last week, on Tuesday. Me and Matt had settled in for a bit of Dazed and Confused, a film which neither of us had seen in ages and which we soundly agreed was completely awesome, and we were about half way through and drinking beer when we got the call to go up to town for further drinking, and a pub quiz.

(Did I mention that it had snowed the night before? That is important. Bear it in mind, because it will be relevant later. There may be a quiz.)

So, finish film and beer, grab taxi and we're in town. Many beers later, me Matt and my buddy Chuggi are wandering home through the snow and doing associated drunk thing, like having a wee in the snow, doing backflips into the snow, and generally frolicing like massive drunken gaylords.

(A thought occurs. At no point did we backflip into snow that had been peed on. As far as I know.)

At any rate, at some point I decided it would be hilarious to steal Chuggi's hat, and then drag it through the snow so as to make it cold and wet. I think he'd said offhand that it was keeping his head nice and warm, so this was the sort of idea that makes the drunk person who takes control of my body when I've had a beer jump up and down with glee. Nabbing the hat, I had to lean over, while running to drag it in the snow. While I was on the concrete pavement. Which was covered with ice.

And so that's why my hand looks like I've attempted to grill it quite incompetantly. This also provides a more insightful answer to those of you who have already had the short explanation: "I fell over, and really well too."

Hey, will you look at that, I did manage to stretch out the holidays for a little while there. Woo yay. I'll be back tomorrow, updating away reguarly once again. And you know, it actually feels good to be back doing this.

----------------
Now playing: Tenacious D / Karate

Day Sixty Three: SPECIAL EARLY MORNING EDITION

Firstly, holy fucking shit yes! Man, this Christmas, TV is going to rock. We've got new Doctor Who, new Wallace & Gromit, and now new Shooting Stars. I'm not moving from the front of my telly this year.

Secondly, have I mentioned before how essay writing really sucks? It's even worse when you've just finished one, because you're suddenly confronted by this expanse of blank page, and you've got to somehow find a way to fill it.

Writers may talk about the joy of writing and how they look on blank paper as a challenge. Fuck that. Writing is hard.You've got to....um....fill up space.


With words.


Which can be tricky.


But still, it's always good to have something to motivate you. In my case, it's the promise of a shit load of beer and excessive partying at the end of this week. Hopefully starting Wednesday, I'll have my essays finished, so it's pub that evening. Then, on Thursday, I'll be drinking myself into a coma with one of my best buddies from home as the Vengaboys play at the LCR. I can't promise that I won't throw VKs at them. My instincts may just take over. And then on Friday, I'm having a wicked awesome house party with another one of my best mates from home, along with a load of other lovely people, and there's going to be 4-player N64, and 2 player wireless Frets on Fire, and so, so much beer that I will likely manage to collapse and pass out before we even reach midnight.

Just, y'know, gotta get past that whole writers block thing.

Fuck you essay.

----------------
Now playing: The Lonely Island / Jizz In My Pants

Day Sixty: There may be trouble ahead...

So, this is kind of weird. James was good enough to talk about it already however, so go to his place.

Anyway, me and him have decided that we're going to get our shit organised for this final week of term. We both have two essays due for Thursday 11th, which is happily the day before my birthday, and the same day that my actual birthday celebrations begin. So, the pact was that we'd both get our essays done by Wednesday morning, in time for our special animation Christmas screening, where we'll be watching the Nightmare Before Christmas. Which, y'know, is pretty fucking awesome.

However, this means we need to get our shit together on a massive scale. I mean, this is working to get a pair of essays finished by Tuesday night or, let's be honest, early Wednesday morning. That's a grand total of 7500 words written over the course of the next five days. And it's not to say that we can't do that, given that we've both managed some pretty impressive feats in terms of essay writing over the two years, including a caffeine-filled sleepless night which eventually resulted in one of the better things I've written. It wasn't the essay, but it was still good.

However, this still requires intense dedication and hard work on both our parts. This is the third year now. We're being serious now.

And that's why I spent my evening watching I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, and cheering on George Takei. Because I'm retarded.

----------------
Now playing: Eels / Souljacker, Part I

Day Fifty Seven: Holy fuck, Vampires and shit!

I first heard about Twilight this summer. My sister and cousin were reading these books which I surmised were about Vampires and stuff. However, that wasn't as important as Edward. Apparently he's the sort of main character in this series of books, and the writing is mainly centred around how dreamy he is. I didn't really care at the time, to be honest. I was more concerned with getting drunk than about the latest fad that was going on.

Okay, it took me a while to get over Harry Potter, and I wasn't ready to move on, okay?

Admittedly, I did try to read the first one (there's four of these fucking things? Holy shit that's insane.) but I stopped after about a chapter because it sounded like a bad FanFiction.net offering. Plus, I had Lord of the Rings to read. Priorities, man.

So, it's only recently that I've been hearing more about this film. It looks fucking awful. Dawson's Creek meets Vampires, and not even in a good way. Also, it's only since it became more widespread that I started hearing more about the characters and rules in this world.

When the Vampires are exposed to sunlight, they sparkle. They fucking sparkle? What the fuck is that? That's the most fucking retarded thing I've ever heard. Seriously? That's fucking terrible.

I mean, Jesus.

The only thing that actually makes me happy at the moment is the way that Robert Pattinson clearly had no idea what the hell he signed up for. Now I picture him trying to think of ways to get out of the sequel contract by, I don't know, getting really fat or growing a hobo-beard or something because, holy crap, the fanbase for this franchise is insane.

----------------
Now playing: The Strokes / Heart In A Cage

Day Fifty Five: Hungover now.

So, yeah, I felt incredibly healthy this morning. Actually, I think I was still drunk. The hangover took about three hours to kick in, so I'm now dealing with that.

Here's what I remember from last night:

• Buying and downing a JD and coke in about 10 seconds to get to the screen quickly.
• Leaving the theatre about five minutes after that to buy some beer.
• Pierce Brosnan is a man who I have a great deal of respect for, but Jesus, the man cannot sing. At all.
• Hasn't Meryl Streep won something like twelve Oscars? What the hell happened?
• Colin Firth still has impeccable comic timing. Although, in the two most recent films I've seen him in, he's been gay. I'm not sure what to make of this. Maybe he keeps having a quiet word with the director, and somehow a scene where he has to get shirtless and hug a naked man makes its way into the script.
• The post credits scene where the cast sings 'Waterloo' was so, so brutally gay.
• After the film, I had a lot of difficulty standing. This did not stop me from being a charming motherfucker, as well as ordering a considerable amount of booze.
• I left with a hat that did not belong to me, and a poster that I'm pretty sure I stole just to hit people with.
• Finally, I found this on my phone this morning.

Hmm.

I have no answers for you. All I can say is that I'm listening to Dragonforce's latest album and rocking out with my new hat on. And I have a 21st birthday to go to tomorrow. It's going to be a good weekend.

----------------
Now playing: Dragonforce / Reasons to Live

Day Fifty Two: An after action report on Day Fifty One

Whoa, wide-screen youtube! Thank god too, otherwise we wouldn't be able to enjoy things like this.

Actually, maybe that isn't the best example. Although it's still quite cool. (wide-screen youtube, that is, not the really fat kid.)

Anyway.

I felt a little fried Monday morning, having stayed up all night to write an essay. Apparently I posted something as well, but I'm at a loss as to where my rambling was headed. Although, I suppose all nighter essay sessions do lead to these things, so I shouldn't be surprised.

So, I wander onto campus, being terribly grumpy to Kate on the bus the whole way there, and headed to the library to print the essay, which, amazingly, had been sent without a hitch. Then, after correcting a couple of basic formatting errors that I hadn't even spotted a few hours ago, I printed it off. It took me about twenty minutes, as I had to try to print, realise I was out of credit, put credit onto my card, lose my card, find my card, and then use it to print out my essay.

As I was approaching dangerous levels of anger, I decided to grab some food from Blend, and then swear horribly into a panini on my way to handing it in. Seriously, I said, terrible things to that poor panini. I'm hoping it doesn't revenge itself of my digestive system, just because I said those things about it's mother.

Which probably says more about my own mental state more than anything else.

Essay handed in, I went home, and went to bed for eight hours while Independence Day played in the background, only to be woken once by Emily wandering through my room to leave the house. A conversation may have been had. I honestly can't remember.

Oh, and I think James finally got through to me after ringing my phone about eight times, and I had another conversation which I do not remember at all.

Anyway, woken up properly, I had a lovely meal which Kate made, and then watched a good bit of The Office with Callum, with him leaving at ten to do...something. Time then, I thought, to turn in. Get some sleep and have an early night for a change.

So, that done, I got changed, and then promptly went out to Optic and got raucously drunk on double whisky and lemonade for several hours, before finally turning in at 3am.

Man, I am really going to miss being a student.

----------------
Now playing: Tim Cameron / Scientology Is Gay

Day Fifty: Movie Rundown

So, this Waltz with Bashir film? It looks pretty fucking awesome to me. Very cool animation style, and nice to see some more stuff coming from the middle east nowadays. As Kate is at pains to tell me, everyone needs to be doing her Israeli-Palestinian politics module, and while I don't think that's entirely practical, I certainly think that more cultural things emerging from the region is a great step in that sort of direction.

But therein lies a problem. See, at the moment, we're entering into a slump in the cinema industry, quite aside from all this financial crisis nonsense. This period, from November until about May, is where films get dumped. Occasionally we'll get a big event movie, that's essentially designed to be the single cinema outing, but apart from that, we've got bugger all coming out. (By the way, this year it's going to be The Day the Earth Stood Still. I'm not saying it'll do it's job entirely well, I just think it's got more of a shot than say, Twilight. Or Punisher: War Zone. Although I would love for the latter to rock the shit out of the box office because fuck yes Ray Stevenson. Anyway.)

The point is that I think I've been far too spoiled by this years summer season. First we had Iron Man, then Dark Knight, and then finally Tropic Thunder, three films that utterly rocked my socks off, as well as being surrounded by other, slightly less awesome films, like The Incredible Hulk, and, um, well, The Incredible Hulk. Now we've got to go back to sitting and waiting for next summer to roll around before the awesome films. It's just not right.

I mean, admittedly, the line-up doesn't look fantastic yet. But still. We've got Watchmen. That certainly looks pretty face rocking to me.

----------------
Now playing: Focus / Hocus Pocus