Day Thirty Eight: Liveblogging some election, or something.

Obama is at 195, McCain at 76, because Obama has just won Ohio.

So, to reiterate a point from the 2004 election, OHIOWNED!

Jesse Jackson is laying down the challenge. If America can elect a Black president, where the fuck is France's black president. What about Britain's Black prime minister?

Holy Shit, the Murdoch just kinda endorsed Obama. This is insane.

Also, Oprah just jumped on the bandwagon. Which is less shocking, but still.

Uh oh, McCain just won West Virginia.

Okay, so, the BBC, home of awesome, non-biased journalism, just comapared the odds of McCains chances to the existence of the tooth fairy.

Wow, the BBC actually just took a short break to talk about just how shitty a president Bush was. Not bad. Not bad.

Wisconsin has just gone to Obama. Hey, remember that time that Colin went to America in Love Actually. Motherfucker went to Wisconsin. Oh yes. You can't buy that kind of political analysis.

McCain just took Texas. Least shocking news ever, reflected in the BBC's five seconds worth of coverage on the matter.

Holy shit, did that dude say "economic shit"?

Oh, Economic Ship. Right.

That makes more sense.

Palin, while good for the Republican base, was unable to win over Joe Sixpack.

JOE SIXPACK, PREZ FOR 2012.

An actual quote from the BBC live coverage: "0243 How disappointing; I had harboured vain hopes of using some quotes from former CBS news anchor Dan Rather about the race being as tight as "a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride home from the beach" or tighter than "rusted lug nuts on a '55 Ford." But the race isn't even close so far."

What.

Holy shit, this is better than the fucking election: http://www.conquerthislife.com/

You know what, fuck the fucking election.

This is better than that. So much better. Oh yes. Thanks go especially to Ryan for giving me this glorious thing. The BBC coverage is on mute now, because, holy shit, the Hoff is talking to me about Red Alert 3. Life could not get much better.

Wait.

Wait.

Eddie Fucking Izzard is on the BBC commentating on the election. What ho?

This is fascinating.

NEW AMERICA!

THE WORLD WILL BECOME FILLED WITH FLOWERS AND RAINBOWS AFTER BARACK OBAMA IS ELECTED.

Well, Fox News just called the election for Obama. I think this is now over. Even the vast right wing conspiracy has backed the next Prez. Gosh.

Republicans; Frighteningly defiant to the end.

HAHA, Media Bias from the BBC is evil and made McCain lose. You heard it here first. On the BBC.

Oops.

Man, that crazy ass dude with the moustache commentating on the election for the BBC is actually fucking crazy. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.

The man in the Camo Baseball camp thinks that Obama is Satan, and he hates both Nancy and Barack. Gosh. McCain is the last great hope for the country.

THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED. SINCE 1992. OH YEAH.

(As an unrelated rambling note, I nearly took a wooden spoon home tonight. And the motherfucker was broken and stolen. I hate everyone. EVERYONE.)

Apparently McCain will concede within the hour. Christ I hope so. I'm fucking tired.

Hah. Doodies. Or, y'know, 'duties'. Crazy ass 'mercan accent.

IT'S ALL PALIN'S FAULT!

Man, fuck this. I'm moving to the bed. Since I have no wireless keyboard, I'm going to throw this up as it is.

***

But, I'm calling this for Obama. Seems like the safe bet.

Also, FUCK YES, OUR REPRESENTATIVE FROM SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA IS THE FUCKING VICE PRESIDENT.

WOO YAY.

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